Haven't posted in a while...

Going shopping tomorrow. I am so excited.
Dinner with Andrew's family also. Yay! Love them!

January was a great reassurance that I am making the right steps in life.
Life is good. Work is a little more tolerable.

I miss having girls nights with Christy. (Dan too!)
I miss texting Blakely. Hurry up and get your Blackberry. :)


New Years Goals
- Learn to play at least one shooter game for boyfriend
- Continue being positive
- Find a job with a better and stable income
- Lose 40lbs.
- See Burbank

1. My ex is still... up to no good. He really needs a wake up call.

2. I am listening to... Warm 106.9 Christmas music

3. Maybe I should... clean my kitchen....tomorrow!

4. I love... the Christmas season. Amen Blakley!

5. My best friends... are amazing but few.

6. I don't understand... why life has to be so difficult all the time lately.

7. I lost... the battle but I will not lose the war.

8. People say... too many negative things.

9. The meaning of my screen name is... old yearbook nickname/joke.

10. Love is... my driving force in life.

11. Somewhere, someone is... seeing their mother, kissing Santa Claus.

12. I will always... have a big heart.

13. Forever seems... not that long.

14. I never ever want to... lose touch with Burbank. She's the only person other than Andrew I could never live without. 10 years strong! haha.

15. My cell phone is... opens in the middle making it perfect for holding credit cards and money!

16. When I wake up in the morning... I sound like an old person. *crack*

17. I get annoyed when... people won't really listen and give me a chance.

18. Parties are... an excuse to things you normally wouldn't do.

19. My pet(s) are/is... Peanut. She is a very small but powerful force of nature. I love her.

20. Kisses are the best when... they are from someone who knows you better than anyone else and loves you just the way you are.

21. Today I... was very very busy. Just trying to stay positive.

22. Tomorrow I will... be waking up early to go Christmas shopping.

YES! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE! John Mayer is coming to Seattle, Key Arena, March 31st! I AM SOOOOO HAPPY!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Crystal
2. Cristal
3. Koala

THREE FAVOURITE DRINKS:
1. Water with lemon
2. Tea (chai & green)
3. Shirley temples

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My unconditional love for people
2. I'm mature. Out on my own, well with Andrew. And we're making it. I did it without help from my parents. I am very proud of the struggles I have overcome in my 22 years.
3. My boobs, eyes, and booty. haha.

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I get moody when I'm low on sleep.
2. I can be hard to please
3. My weight. I wanna lose 40lbs and honestly I'd be totally happy with myself.

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. Why baristas don't get paid better
2. People who have no passion for ANYTHING in life
3. Why he loves me so much

THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. Progressive commercials
2. Ignorant people
3. Skinny jeans- They are soooo ugly.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Snuggles
2. Tea
3. Laughter

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. Walk a straight line. I'm super clumsy.
2. Sing very well
3. Play poker

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Motherhood
2. Yearbook Advisor
3. Hair Stylist

THREE COLORS YOU LIKE:
1. Yellow
2. Pink
3. Black

THREE PLACES YOU WOULD VISIT:
1. Hawaii
2. Las Vegas
3. Disneyland

THREE THINGS YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW:
1. Laying in bed
2. Trying to be warm
3. Trying to get better

I feel. I ache. I love. I am passionate. I am addicted. I'm hurt. I am not orginal. I am afraid. I want. I need. I am human. I struggle. I hug. I play. I succeed. I wish. I dream. I touch. I crave. I beg. I design. I create. I reevaluate. I plead. I try. I understand. I consider. I party. I talk. I console. I move on.

Lost my job today. Fuck my life.

I used to hate tomatoes and onions. But lately I cannot get enough of them. Oh and beer. I hated it all up until I found a couple brews I like. I also used to hate sour cream, mushrooms, toffee nut, poker, and so on....  I don't know if this all has to do with age or if I'm just changing. Either way I am loving all these new things.

Christy and I have THE BEST halloween costumes this year, just wait and see.... it's going to be AMAZING.

I am sooo excited for the holidays this year. My first holiday in my own apt. :) If anyone is getting rid of decorations of any kind for any holiday, or a desk let me know. I'm in need. haha.

I really love my crazy dog. She's so adorable and at the same time she really is a demon. haha.

 

This year isn't even 9 months over and I've already learned so much about myself. I am really excited about the next 3 the most though. I need to start saving for a plane ticket. Well at least half. Loving 2009. Yay for life. Love you Burbank.

This last week I wasn't really answering my phone or texting much. I figured I'd take a week and reflect. I needed to defragment my brain. I haven't really had a chance to sit down and sort all this chaos out properly. But now I can say a week later and a new hair color and I'm feeling fabulous. I love the fall. I miss it. I'm so happy it's on it's way. I love the rain, dark clouds, and the sound of the wind whipping through the trees. Oh I'm excited for pumpkin carvings! But most of all I love how much my life differs in each season. I love it! Summer has never been my season. Enough about seasons...

Things I am thankful for: my top five loves, hail storms, pumpkin spice, new work clothes, Andrew's family.

Things I am wanting: To see Ms. Burbank, new work shoes, a polish dog, and winter clothes!

I saw The Time Traveler's Wife trailer today and I'm determined to read the book before seeing the movie. It looks so good. But maybe it's just the hopeless romantic inside of me jumping with joy. But either way, I'm going to love it. :)

:::::Confession:::::

When I have completely awful days and I feel like there is no lower I could feel; I look at engagement rings and wedding dresses online.

I feel deathly. I don't feel good enough. I don't feel up to par.

My body is freaking out. It's breaking down again.
This is always scary. I don't like being broken.
I don't like being tested. I hate this.

I just got a seven hundred dollar ticket for blocking a lane. It wasnt even my fault. There was an accident infront of me! :(

FML

Good communication is probably the best skill to posses.

Oh the secrets we keep.

The out of character things I do.

I am discovering a part of myself I never thought I'd know.

I don't know how to fix this but I'll figure it out.

Jim Halpert: I think those might be empty.
Pam Beesly: No, no, cause the ice melts, and then it's like second drink.

Oh yes my life is grand.

I love you. I miss you.